Hapax Legomena
Mar 27, 2007 2:37 pm

Prayer Before Confession

Translated by me from my Romanian Orthodox prayer book:

Hear me, my Lord and my creator,
Hear me again, a sinner and Your unworthy servant,
For many times I have promised to change my wicked life
And never have I changed it.

I have erred, O Lord, I have erred
and I know my errors
and I regret that I have done them
and I am ashamed to come before Your face
For so many times I have broken my word
Having not abandoned my sins.

And what will I say of my unthankfulness,
and whither will go?
For so many iniquities have I committed!

To You I will go, my most merciful Master
and I fall with great boldness at Your feet,
For I see that for my sins You took up
the humiliating death of the cross
and you call sinners to you with your Scriptures
and you call out with your voice:
He who comes to Me I will not turn away.

Indeed, O Lord, accept even me
Though I am unworthy, and forgive me all my sins
and give me Your grace and blessing
in Your great and immeasurable mercy.
For I am greatly penitent
For I have sinned against You and angered Your goodness
With word, with act, and with thought
Willingly and unwillingly.

Indeed from today forward I truly promise–
with Your gift and Your help–
to not return to my former sins
and to not break Your commandments.
I choose to hear You,
Now and forever to worship Your holy name

My sweet Jesus

To magnify you, world without end.
Amen.

Original:
Ascultă-mă, Domnul meu şi Ziditorul meu, ascultă-mă iarăşi pe mine, păcătosul şi nevrednicul robul Tău, că de multe ori Ţi-am făgăduit să-mi schimb viaţa cea rea şi nicidecum nu o am schimbat. Greşit-am, Doamne, greşit-am şi cunosc greşalele mele şi îmi pare rău că le-am făcut, şi mi-e ruşine să vin înaintea feţei Tale, de atâtea ori călcându-mi cuvântul şi nepărăsindu-mă de păcate. Şi ce voi zice de nerecunoştinţa mea cea mare, şi unde mă voi duce? Atâtea strâmbătăţi am făcut! Către Tine vin, Stăpânul meu mult-milostiv, şi cad cu multă îndrăzneală la picioarele Tale, de vreme ce văd că pentru păcatele mele ai primit înjositoarea moarte pe cruce şi pe păcătoşi îi chemi la Tine cu Scripturile Tale şi strigi cu gura Ta: Pe cel ce vine la Mine nu-l voi scoate afara. Drept aceea, Doamne, primeşte-mă şi pe mine, nevrednicul, şi-mi iartă toate păcatele şi dă-mi harul Tău şi binecuvântarea Ta, întru mare şi nemăsurată milostivirea Ta. Că eu sunt foarte căit; că am greşit înaintea Ta şi am mâniat bunătatea Ta cu cuvântul, cu lucrul, şi cu gândul, cu voie şi fără voie. Drept aceea, de astăzi înainte cu adevărat făgăduiesc, cu darul şi ajutorul Tău, să nu mă întorc la greşalele mele cele dintâi şi să nu mai cal vreuna din poruncile Tale. Şi hotărăsc să Te ascult, şi acum şi pururea şi să mă închin numelui Tău celui sfânt, dulcele meu Iisus, şi să Te măresc în vecii vecilor. Amin.

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Mar 6, 2007 8:14 pm

When everything’s holy…

Fr. Stephen hits one out of the park.

To be more blunt, we in America have imported our sense of “democracy” into our liturgical sensibilities. We believe that nothing should be secret, nothing hidden, nothing marked off as set apart. We are a nation that witnesses people on Jerry Springer saying things that should only be said in confession. We have no shame.

What remains in Orthodox liturgy (and was once present in Roman Liturgies and even some forms of Anglican liturgies) is a deep sense of the Holy. The movement from Old Testament to New Testament has not democratized worship or destroyed the need for priests (Protestants are quick to speak of the “priesthood of all believers” but end up with no priesthood of any believers). Protestant reform movements that utterly destroyed Rood Screens and the architecture of medieval worship succeeded in a drive to declare that “all things are holy.” But just as the Puritan abolition of Christmas did not succeed in making everyday as holy as that day, such iconoclastic actions succeeded only in creating a secular world where nothing is holy and no day a holy day.

I’m reminded of the quote from The Incredibles: “When everyone’s super, no one will be.” The desire to recognize all things as holy is good, but it’s often implemented by treating nothing as holy. So we tear down the iconostasis, the rood screen, the altar rail, and sometimes even the pulpit, since these are all things that priviledge certain places as holy. Then we discard the elaborate vestments, then the preacher’s robe, and eventually abandon even the suit and tie, because they set people and vocations apart. Then everything is holy, and because everything is holy, nothing is.

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Dec 29, 2006 11:40 pm

The mark of Christianity

This is the mark of Christianity — however much a man toils, and however many righteousnesses he performs, to feel that he has done nothing, and in fasting to say, `This is not fasting,’ and in praying, `This is not prayer,’ and in perseverance at prayer, `I have shown no perseverance; I am only just beginning to practice and to take pains’; and even if he is righteous before God, he should say, `I am not righteous, not I; I do not take pains, but only make a beginning every day.’

– St. Macarius the Great

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Dec 20, 2006 11:07 pm

16 Years Old

Theotokos  of Tender Mercy

This Christmas season I have been filled with thoughts of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Last night I had a dream which was, for the most part, pure silliness: I dreamt that a girl at my high school had been discovered to be the Virgin Mary. No, this doesn’t make any sense, and the dream ended with me realizing as much. But the image that stayed with me was the fact that Mary was only a high-schooler when she gave birth to the Savior. Tradition says that she was sixteen, in fact.

Sixteen.

At sixteen years of age, she had found favor with God and was named “blessed among women”.

As a teenage girl she was already closer to God than I will ever be.

At sixteen she became the Mother of God.

It blows my mind to think that Jesus came into the world through the womb of woman much younger than me. It blows my mind to think of a shy, meek teenager holding the Son of God in her arms, kissing Him and being kissed. That’s why I like the icon at the beginning of this post: it’s a simple moment of familial intimacy, filled with eternal significance because the child is the Eternal Son.

It is truly meet and right to call you blessed…

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Nov 27, 2006 7:02 pm

Bad Icons

My blog is turning into a clip blog, it seems. Ah, well. Today we have another tasty tidbit from Fr. Stephen on Bad Icons:

And so the mystery of the holy icons seems to work from both sides. For the viewer, the icon is a window to heaven (if the viewer is indeed looking for heaven). And for those who are not looking for heaven, icons, including their human forms, become opaque, and we see only the reflection of our sinful self….

What seems inescapable to me is that there be icons. If you outlaw them in the Church, they will still occupy the Church in the persons of the congregation. We cannot say, “Only read the Scripture, do not look at me as an icon.” Nobody gets that kind of free ride as a Christian. You’re an icon whether you like it or not. And there will be other images as well - either well done reflecting heaven itself - or poorly reflecting everything other than heaven. But there will be icons. God give us grace to rightly honor the windows to heaven He has opened for us, and to be a window to heaven for all who see us.

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Nov 22, 2006 1:42 pm

Mud on its way to God

There is a beautiful post today over at Glory to God For All Things title “Things Are More Than They Appear”:

Things are so much more than they appear. A little girl is the longed for bearer of the Word. She will be the Mother of God. This little girl is the one of whom the prophecies of old, given to Eve, were spoken. Her seed will indeed “bruise his (the serpent’s) head.”

Our own lives have their irony, an irony too often lost on us. “Man,” said St. Gregory of Nyssa (I do believe), “Is mud who was commanded to become god.” The irony that we are commanded to become god is lost on us - we usually just think that we’re mud, or worse.

The greatest irony of all, perhaps, is that we are loved so infinitely, so beyond measure, while we still feel so unloved. We are lonely in the midst of all the company of heaven. We are hungry in the middle of a banquet. We are naked while the glory of God waits there to clothe us.

Things are so much more than they appear. My neighbor, who seems so well described by the term, “mud,” is himself as much destined to glory as myself and all I can see is mud. Walking in the finite, created walls of an old temple, I would easily have mistaken a young girl of three for just another mud child. Would I have known the Mother of my God?

C.S. Lewis said the same thing in his essay The Weight of Glory.

It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbour. The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbour’s glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken. It is a serious thing
to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.

Lord, have mercy on us, and help us to know You that we may one day be like You.

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Nov 5, 2006 8:16 am

The Liturgy is a foretaste of heaven

But for that reason, it might be an acquired taste.

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Sep 26, 2006 2:55 pm

I very much appreciated this post by ye olde fearsome pirate:

Challies’ objection comes from that same, tired, old attitude so common in evangelicalism that the stories of those whose lives have been hurt by sin simply should not be told. Sin is always something that happens to “them,” and talking about it like it’s something that happens to one’s hearers is simply not “uplifting” or “glorifying to God.” If the verbal marginalization of the sinners goes deeply enough into the psyche, they simply cease to exist. I’m sure Challies feels quite compassionate for all those kids out there in the broken homes. Out there. Not in here. The kids in here have good little Protestant families where they have family devotions around the table every night based on the Westminster Catechism and sing the Doxology before bed.

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Sep 8, 2006 6:54 pm

The Names of God

Devout orthodox Jews today often abbreviate the word God in writing as “G-d”, as is explained here. The other day I read a reminisce from an elderly Roman Catholic gentleman, and he said most Roman Catholics used to devoutly bow whenever the name of Jesus was used.

Question: are these good ideas or bad ideas?

At one level it’s obvious that they are both unnecessary: the third commandment says not to use the Lord’s name in vain, but it does not stipulate that you should never write all of its letters or that you shouldn’t ever mention Him without bowing. I find it faintly ridiculous to insist that a violation of these customs necessarily means violation of the 3rd commandment. These seem to suggest that this stuff is a Bad Idea, or at least not necessarily a Good Idea.

However, these both also serve a purpose. Namely: with the commandment against blasphemy fenced about this way, it’s almost impossible to commit blasphemy. That is, if you are trained to so respect the name of God that you won’t even right it in full or say it without bowing, you will find it almost impossible to actually blaspheme without either explicitly rejecting your training or being a rank, deliberate hypocrite. If you haven’t been trained to think this way–if you have never been trained to use any particular respect when invoking God, you might never really know when you’re blaspheming, or worse, you might get the idea that it doesn’t really matter how we speak and write about God, and so just stop even thinking about blasphemy as something important. This suggests that these sorts of rules are a Good Thing.

Were you expecting some sort of a conclusion? Sorry to disappoint. I’m not sure what to say, but I think that I have another post on this topic (tangentially) that I will write tomorrow, or whenever I get around to it.

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Sep 6, 2006 7:59 pm

Good Things

The following are Good Things:

A re-imagined image of St. George the night before he fought the dragon. I don’t think I can actually call this an “icon”, but like all good art it conveys a spiritual reality the same way that icons do.

A beautiful, if completely impossible, ending to Harry Potter. CS Lewis would applaud.

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